The Mom Calm… Or Why It’s Rare to Faze a Mom

So, Moms have this rare ability to stay calm in the oddest situations.  Not all of us, but as a group we have a higher tolerance for stuff and it flusters us less.  Really.  And this is particularly the case with kids that aren’t ours.  Are you wondering what types of situations I’m talking about?  I’m talking about the usual Mom-situations… you know, vomiting, gashes, cuts, and booboos and such.

Let me give you a few examples… Dads are notoriously bad about nasty diapers.  Some get over and get good at changing them, but I’ve known Dads who would smell the kid and hand off to Mom.  Mom, on the other hand, opens the diaper, sees a toy solider and says, “Well, I wondered where that had gone!”  No freaking out at the small toy soldier, no worry about the grossness of the feces.  Just happiness that the lost article had been found.  I can’t remember a single diaper contents being a worry to me.  Surprise, yes.  Worry, no.

Another example would be cuts and gashes (not to mention bruises and bumps).  When a mom sees a cut or gash on a child (hers or not), she tends to go into “fix-it” mode rather than freak-out mode.  Maybe this one is just me.  I never saw the point of freaking out.  It’s better just to see what we can do to stop the bleeding and find the emergency room.  I’m lucky that HelperBean is a mom and that was her reaction when JuniorBean fell and cut his head open on the radiator a few years ago.  She just picked him up, put ice on it and got the bleeding stopped.  In fact, she was so calm when she called that I wasn’t sure I needed to go home.  Maybe that’s too calm, but…

Another fine example is vomiting.  Since having kids, I’ve seen all kinds of vomit.  In my house, then someone’s feeling sick, I just hand them a plastic bag-lined trash can.  After all, that way they can puke and I can just take the trash bag off the top, tie it closed and put it out.  If you’re smart, you put a bunch of trash bags on and just pull of the top one.  Oh, and if the sickly one is a girl with long hair, I also grab the hair-bob to put it up so we don’t end up with puke-encrusted hair.  Other than that, it’s just sit and pat the back and tell them I love them.  A vomiting session actually inspired this post.  One friend was commending another on how calm she was when watching her child vomit.  It occurred to me that, with vomit in particular, it smells gross and is nasty to clean up, but really what can you do?  And, unless it goes on for a long time, it’s not usually life-threatening.  So, why worry about it?

Having seen all of the bizarre and odd bodily function situations that I have as a parent, I think I have pretty good Mom-calm.  Very little seems to faze me these days.  I hear ButterBean took a spill down the stairs at school and kiss the booboo (a huge black knot, might I add) rather than make a big deal.  Because, after all, our reaction has more to do with their response than anything else.  Taking a page from a good friend of mine with 4 boys… when one falls, they make like a baseball umpire and shout “Safe!”  The boys are so distracted and amused that they forget to cry.  Soon it becomes a habit.  No one is hovering and looking worried to make them feel like they should cry, so they don’t.  So, for you future moms out there, develop your mom-calm.  It will really come in handy.

Happy Calming Influences!


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