So, moms out there, raise your hands if you love being with your kids every moment of every day. Really if you spend each moment of every day excited about being a mom and just plain enjoying your kids, out ’em up. Where are those hands now? What? It’s a desert of people sitting on their hands right now isn’t it? I came across an excellent article today and just had to share it. The mom in this article provides an excellent perspective to the whole nostalgic “enjoy every single instant” admonition that I’m sure all of us have gotten at least once (once, who the heck am I kidding, once a week is more like it).
And now for a MommaBean confession, I can’t stand doing mom things. Those of you who actually know me are probably laughing already. People who come to my house figure out pretty quickly that there’s no point in asking “Did you make this lovely (insert food item of choice)?” They realize that HelperBean is responsible for the food in my house (mommy task one: outsourced). They also know that HelperBean manages keeping the house in order (for evidence of this, come over now when we’re doing a major go through and clean out and HelperBean isn’t allowed to do her usual neatening and straightening. It’s an absolute wreck. (mommy task two: outsourced)). And please, please don’t ask me to sew something. I promise all of MemeBean’s friends wonder where on earth I came from. If she isn’t making, sewing, or cooking something, she must be deathly I’ll. They say it skips a generation :).
So traditional mommy tasks are really just not my thing at all. I’m not that kind of mom… But would you believe I have friends who are? And they get frustrated with their kids, just like I do. And they get dragged down on occasion. And they spend each day putting one foot in front of the other, too. And they’re counting the minutes until bedtime just like I am. Like me, I suspect they also think carpe diem is highly overrated. Some days they want to shoot, not seize. So, this article was timely and releasing. Basically, the author counsels us each to seize our Kairos moments. Those instants each day when we get beyond the daily tasks and the grind of doing and see, really see our kids. The unique smell of JujuBean. The sweet, lingering hug of ButterBean, the shout of triumph when JuniorBean defeats a particularly hard level on the Wii. You know, those “God” instants.
I have some friends who make comments that make it seem they think I’m some sort of special mom. They are impressed by my doing art projects and science projects with my kids. You know, they shouldn’t be. In addition to outsourcing all of the grinding mom-tasks, my art projects (like the cooking I do) take no more than 15 minutes. I could give an excuse like talking about the average attention span for kids at various ages, but let’s admit 15 minutes of patience is often all I can dredge up. But if I’m being really, really honest with you, I think our kids are cherishing their Kairos moments as well. And while they won’t be the same moments as ours, they are the special times out of the day… And 15 minutes is enough for them to think, hey that was really neat.
So, instead of imaging that we should love all day every day, I think we’d all be better off if we just admitted that we need to carve out moments of each day to make special memories and moments with our kids. The things they remember best aren’t going to be what great meals mom made or how clean the house was. The things they’ll remember are the quiet times when they just felt loved. So, when you look out and see super-mom, just remember, she’s not a better mom than you are, she’s a different mom. And her kids are probably no happier than yours. You’re a great mom too and that super-mom, she’s watching you and wishing she could play Barbie with her kids for an hour the way you do without wanting to break something, or speak in that sweet quiet voice you use, or… Well, you get the picture.
Happy Kairos moments!